I yanked the mandala printed bed covers over my head, which delivered a smudge more solace during the afternoon. I was worn-out already and it was only 3p.m, so I yielded to the day and chalked it up as a loss. I was depressed and meditation wouldn’t be able to emancipate me from my own mind, so I thought better and drifted asleep. That would stop things–at least temporarily.
I had spent the first part of the day, as well after my awakening from my slumber, confined in my bedroom–cut off from everyone else. When trudging through murky water, it’s sometimes more beneficial to just ignore everyone’s changing perspectives. It can causes an abundant amount of unnecessary stress, which they do not even recognize. Living with my parents does this to me, and recently I feel like a child trying to ask for permission to crash at a friend’s house on the weekend–borderline shameful.
I reached the never-wracking point, where I just disregard their advice, otherwise, I’d be in a perpetual state of neurosis. One must keep in mind that advice given is not as much directed at himself but at the provider’s younger self. Therefore, at times, it may not to be applicable to the chosen person. I also believe in becoming a man, that he needs to ask and listen to himself rather than ask of others–only he knows.
I remained helpless in my bed, completing mundane tasks through the night, hoping to purge my swinging emotions. Staying present and focused at one task on hand can settle the mind down. My tasks were monotonous–CPA questions–but enforced me to be grounded through all of this turmoil. There is no need to worry or become anxious over the future, if you can’t even be in the present. With that, it was on to the next question.